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November 2007

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wee!Subbie

I'm really starting to hate this...

I thought perhaps I was being given a chance to start again, but I was wrong...

I know too much to be able to enjoy this. I understand that if I'm forced to grow up again my entire family will suffer. I worry about how much time and effort is being put into restoring me to my usual age.

I was so lonely when I was 9 the first time round, but at least then I knew I'd be going home once I turned 10. Now I'm not even sure where home is. I don't belong here... there are too many memories. I suppose it's the same in Tokyo, but at least there I'm busy enough to forget sometimes.

I tried to smoke earlier, it only took one drag before I was sick.

I feel stupid for ever thinking this could be another chance at life. It's just a reminder of the past I can never get back.

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